Without sounding whiney or whatever, I’m kind of over being the size I am. Like, I’m not happy with it, and I’m not entirely comfortable with it, but I am who I am.
I’m not even joking. And size doesn’t matter. I know that. But still, it hurts so much when you can’t shop in clothes shops and get decent looking things without trying and fit in. And even on the odd chance, I find something that fits, but then it’s so fucking perfect but it makes me want to cry, scream and burn the whole fucking store down because I looked so skinny in it. Like I'm having a problem with my body. Like I'm suffering from a eating disorder :s Honestly. And there's hardly anything ever nice in for me to wear and not to look so skinny. Or jeans. I can’t even wear fucking jeans. It's hard for me to buy jeans from anywhere because the only jeans that have my actual size is from Topshop, The Petite section for course. Yeah in there, Its easy to get My size. I'm sad. I haven’t worn clothes that I feel “pretty” or “decent” in for too many years :(
I’m not saying ‘omg I’m so skinny’ because I’m not “fat”. I don't have obvious hips, curves, or a bit of a tummy and a big bust. I’m just sick of being the “skinniest” friend among the all, the “skinniest” girl who can’t even wear a decent clothes because It wont look good on me.
And before any of you might, or will start saying “well if you’re not happy, gain more weight” or whatever, you don’t think I haven’t tried that? Huh? I’ve been eating a lot like a cow -.- , etc etc etc. I’ve literally tried everything. Guess I’m stuck the way I am.